The Assassin
by Fenrir1790
Summary: A little parody of the events in FFVIII when the team attempts to kill Edea. It was for an English essay, so I changed Squalls name to Leon So the teacher didn't think I'm crazy, and I couldn't remember the name of the city, so if anyone could tell me UPD


**The Assassin**

The city of Galbadia was restless. The streets were filled, and the G-Troopers had a rough time of keeping the crowds off the road. The Galbadian empires lead sorceress, Edea, was about to arrive on her way to the town hall for a council meeting. The public loved Edea – the idea of having someone adept with magic on their side in the war against Balamb was uplifting. Edea would parade through the city on a float before the meeting, allowing her fans a sneak peek if the sorceress. When the crowds began cheering at Edeas arrival, Irvine Kinneas sat up in his hiding place, finally alert.

Irvine didn't look like much of an assassin – instead he looked – and acted – a ladies man. His long, expensive cream leather coat and cowboy hat gave him the look of someone who knew what he wanted, and his long hair and big, green eyes, paired with his smile, made him think he was irresistible. The truth was, he had had a lot more slaps than he had winks or giggles.

"Leon! She's coming!" he called down the corridor. Leon walked in – he was a striking, 21-year-old man, freshly graduated from Balambs mercenary school, SeeD Garden. He was highly skilled with a gunblade – a sword with the handle from a gun - and was there to fight Edea should something go wrong. He volunteered for the job, as he would have a chance to fight Edea's new left hand man – Seifer, his bitter rival from his SeeD days. In training, Seifer had cut a scar deep into Leon's forehead, and he was looking forward to returning the gesture.

"Alright. Get the gun ready."

"Wouldn't you rather fight your old pal? That scar's pretty nas-"

"Just do it Irvine!" True, Leon would love to have his revenge – but the job came first. "Let's do this, get our money and go home."

"Alright, fine. Drinks are on me." Irvine grinned and lifted the sniper rifle. "Zell ready yet?"

"I'll check." Leon picked up the radio. "Zell? You at the gate yet?"

"Zzz…"

"Zell!"

A yell and a loud crash cam from the radio. "Sorry 'bout that mate. Yeah, we're on schedule. Just say the word."

"Good. And Zell?"

"Hmm?"

"No more beer. We need you alert."

"You the boss. Out."

Leon put down the radio. "We're good. Where's Edea?"

Irvine looked out; the shops lining the streets were all closed, crowds filled the streets, cheering and waving flags bearing the Galbadian symbol, while the blue-armoured G-Troopers formed a human fence to keep them off the road. Half a mile down the road, a huge gate hung open: two gates with a security chamber inside. This was where Zell was waiting. He was close friends with Leon, and demanded that he come along for the ride. Edea was getting closer every second – her chariot moving at a steady speed, with Edea waving to the crowd, Seifer at her side. She was dressed in a long black coat, with an elegant blue headdress. Seifer stood absolutely still in his long grey coat, gunblade at the ready. "She's nearly there. I'll check the gun." Leon nodded, and went out of the room. Irvine unloaded the gun and checked the bullets. But something wasn't right…

His eyes open wide he shouted back to Leon. Leon came in with a look of absolute fury on his face.

"Zell! Drunk! Listen!"

Irvine listened – a voice was singing over the radio: "Hey, diddly dee, a SeeD life fer me!"

He looked at Leon. "We have a bigger problem! Someone loaded the gun wth blanks!"

"What!" Leon was speechless… weeks of careful planning, blown because someone picked the wrong bullets! "Who was it!"

"I don't know, no one else... wait..."

"What?"

"The bullets are... ticking?"

Zell jumped into Edeas carriage as it passed the gate. she smiled at him. "Is it done? Where are the SeeDs?"

"They're in that flat back there. Top floor." He pointed at the building behind them. Seifer scowled at him.

"You better not have messed this up, Zell."

"Don't get your coat in a twist, man! The show's starting... now."

Suddenly, the building blew up. Literally, it flew into the air and rained all over the crowds, now screaming instead of cheering. Edeas eyes opened wide. "Did you really need that much?"

"Leon has a nasty habit of... surviving." Zell grinned at her. "I wanted to be absolutely sure."

Seifer was dumbstruck. "I must say, i'm impressed. Although we could have done with the building falling _away _from the crowd."

Edea scowled at him. "Now Seifer, it was his first time, and I think he did very well." She smiled at Zell. "You have done Galbadia a great service Zell. I thank you."

"Just doin' my job." he replied, bowing. "Now, i know an excellent restaraunt near here. Whaddaya say boss? My treat?"

Edea laughed. "That sounds wonderful, Zell. The meeting was fake anyway.

Zell looked back at the wreckage of the block of flats.

Who's the big man now, eh Leon?

Rory McFadyen

2006


End file.
